Introduction

Marital unity must be understood within the history of divine revelation and redemption. This means we have to look again at the creation account and then see how the NT draws on this account. The creation account gives us the original and thus primary framework of the duties that belong to the partners in marriage. That framework is found within the record of the creation of the heavens and the earth in six days.

It is a framework; it gives a sketch of marital duties. This material truly calls us back to the basics. We are given the most fundamental and foundational duties to be performed by man and woman from the very beginning of human existence. These are the duties to which they are brought as husband and wife from the hand of the Creator. What we have are creation laws or creation ordinances that are impressed onto the very fabric of human life and history. These laws and the duties they require are put in place before the fall of man into sin. They therefore have a pronounced simplicity, clarity, and purity.

In this way, the creation account sets a tone that gives these duties a high degree of importance. Perhaps, therefore, it is somewhat of an understatement to call this message "A Sketch of Marital Duties." But the idea of a sketch is appropriate because it reminds us that we do not have an exhaustive list of requirements. What we have is the foundation upon which everything else about love and marriage is to be built.

This sketch can be divided into two parts: duties common to both and duties unique to each (that is to both husband and wife, to each as husband and as wife). Today we will cover "A sketch of marital duties common to both." Some of the common duties that I am going to cite may overlap with one another but it seems good to list the following duties with highlights of each.

1A. Keeping covenant (Gen. 2:18-25)

As we approach this commonness, we have to stress that these duties belong to them not as individuals but as a couple. So whether we are talking about what is common to both or unique to each, either way these duties belong to them in the bond of the marriage covenant. This is as special as it is significant. Male and female are created in the image of God and given a task to perform on the earth; this is called the cultural mandate. Part of the task given to man as male and female is keeping the covenant of companionship for life and for the glory of God. This is not something that man autonomously conceived. It is a promise that the husband is required by the Lord to make to his wife. Equally, it is a promise that the wife is required by the Lord to make to her husband. In a very elementary sense, this covenant is simply an acknowledgement of what they are by creation: they are literally one flesh. Therefore, a unity of life, love, and purpose is His design for them. Husband and wife are to therefore commit themselves to be what they are by divine design. This is just part of why marriage is such a high and holy estate.

Thus, it is more than a covenant that they are to keep with each other. It is triangular as a covenant husband and wife make to each other and to the Lord. The promise of a husband to be a good companion to his wife is a promise he makes to his wife and to God. The promise of a wife to be a good companion to her husband is a promise she makes to her husband and to God. We can return to this point later, but for now it is sufficient to say that part of the sketch is the duty of covenant keeping to one another and to God. Accordingly, there is a true sacredness to marriage.

2A. Exercising dominion (Gen. 1:26, 28)

Husband and wife are to work at fulfilling the cultural mandate. We should look at these verses for insight in the value of work. Work is a matter of exercising dominion and rule. That means that it has a dignity. It has royal dignity attached to it. This is its nature from square one.

Man is to subdue the earth and rule over it. By observing the things around us we can see that man is unique among created things. Aristotle, for example, spoke of a scale of being. Things ascend on the scale from primal matter to plants, to animals, and finally to man. There is a ranking evident in the creation in which man is at the top given the place of rule over all God has made. He is to subdue the earth and rule over all living things (Gen. 1:26, 28).

Work is not a curse. Because of the fall by man’s assertion of autonomy (trying to live independent of God) the earth has been cursed and work has become difficult (Gen. 3:17-19a). There are now thorns and weeds in the world garden. These stubbornly draw on human energy in the process of doing our work on earth. Now because of the fall, the king on top of the scale of earthly beings (to sanctify Aristotle’s model) is reduced to dust (for you are dust and to dust you shall return, 3:19b). Work is still a major task for a married couple; the fall introduces the problem of sin that cuts across marriage and family. We will discuss this another time more fully as the problem of marriage.

3A. Filling the earth (Gen. 1:28)

This refers to procreation, something that moves in the direction of creation. We don’t create children but it is like creation and moves in that direction because it involves bringing human beings into existence. This capacity is given to man by the Lord who says, "Now in keeping your covenant of companionship bring forth children and thus fill the earth" (Gen. 1:28).

Interestingly, this is a fundamental and foundational duty of marriage. The union of husband and wife in the big picture is symbolized in their sexual union as a part of the picture. The pleasures of sex when fruitful lead to the challenges of children. This does not mean that there is to be no fun in "becoming one flesh" unless there is the explicit intention present of having children. It simply means that having children is one of the fundamental duties of the marital bond of companionship. This does not tell us that every couple will be able to have children (not every marriage is blessed with children). Nor does it tell us when to have children or how many children to have. It just tells us that having children is one of the basics of marriage; it is a fundamental duty and not an option. We may like the pleasure part and balk at the challenge part but they go together in the fundamental sketch of marital duties.

In Malachi 2:14-15, one of the things we are told about the marriage covenant is that through it God seeks a godly seed. This implies nurture in the things of God as part of the work. At bottom, it indicates that it pleases the Lord when a married couple has children. Children are images of their parents and images of God. This is the design by creation. It is pleasing to the Lord when husband and wife have children and labor to instill God-likeness in them. "Seeking a godly seed" is like seeking true worshippers (Jn. 4:23); it is something that God actively seeks, desires, and designs. He therefore provides for its realization. God created male and female with the obvious design that they complement one another physically and together have children.

It is because of the fall that pain is multiplied in childbirth (Gen. 3:16). But as I understand the difficult passage in 1 Timothy (2:15) childbearing is the means by which God has brought salvation to the woman (and thus to the human family). From the pain of childbearing has come the incarnation of Christ to be the redeemer of fallen image bearers, female and male.

4A. Following the six and one pattern (Gen. 1:1-2:3)

They are to structure all they do after the divine work and rest pattern. We must remember that the cultural mandate is given to man (as male and female) on the sixth day within the six day creation process. God’s blessing of the seventh day set the rhythmic weekly pattern in motion historically. The duties of marriage involve daily work but not uninterrupted work. The work is to be done in six days with rest on the seventh day.

Thus they should work with a sense of promise. This is the case even with the fall, the pain of labor in childbearing, and the painful toil with a cursed earth. The promise is special rest with God in His rest. As history unfolds in rhythmic weekly cycles, God’s promise is always out in front of us. It comes at the end of six days of labor and it gives refreshment for the task ahead in the next six days of labor. Furthermore, this weekly pattern constitutes an on going promise regarding the end of the work/rest unfolding that will be reached in eternal Sabbath rest. This is eternal life that was promised for obedience to the first man and the human family in him. It is secured by the second Adam, the Lord Jesus.

Husband and wife together as one in a covenant of companionship for all the unfolding weeks of history that God gives them have the foundational and fundamental duty of following the six and one pattern. In this way they keep covenant with one another and with the Lord.

5A. Worshipping the Lord on the Sabbath (Gen. 2:3)

A welcome way to open up this point is to note that husband and wife are to fellowship with one another in worship. It is part and parcel of what marriage is designed to be. Without this worship, a marriage is like a house with a major portion of the foundation removed. We can fill out the sketch a little bit by directing our attention to the Sabbath.

a) Worship has a distinctive place on the Sabbath day

The legitimacy of calling this the Sabbath is found in the commentary of Moses in Exodus 20:11 on Gen. 2:3. By substituting "Sabbath" in Exodus for "seventh" in Genesis, Moses informs us of the fact that the Sabbath cycle for man being particularized in the Ten Commandments was set apart by God since the first week of creation. In this light, we get a little more from Exodus about Sabbath/rest. It is to be set aside "to the Lord your God" (Ex. 20:10). It is for fellowship with Him. It is for resting with Him in His rest and all the significance that is to be attached to it.

Of course, this does not mean that there is no place for praising God on the other days of the week. We may speak of the six days as the time for doing our work as worship and of the seventh day as the time for doing the work of worship. The accent in the six days is on our work while the accent in the seventh day is on our worship. Both involve worship for every day belongs to the Lord and we have the privilege of fellowship with Him daily. And both involve work because it not only takes work to work on the six days but it also takes work to worship on the seventh day. Along with actual resting on the Sabbath (the rest day) is active worshipping. Some planning, effort, and thought are included in rest filled worship as a duty of marriage on the Sabbath.

b) Worship has the distinctive function of Sabbath commemoration

It is properly called Sabbath commemoration when we think again about why the seventh day was blessed and set apart. What significance is attached to God’s resting? Why does God’s resting on the seventh day lead to the sanctity and hallowedness of the day? It is because the nature of His resting was that of a royal rest. That was the day He sat down on the throne of the heavens and put His feet on the footstool of the earth (Isa. 66:1-2). He rests in rule. This rest day was the seventh day of human history (of earth and cosmic history for that matter) in which the Lord God inaugurated His sovereign rule over all that He created. By so resting and blessing the day, He established the weekly cycle of history at the same time that He put His rest out in front of man as a promise. Therefore, each week man works toward rest with God in a blessed commemoration of the Sabbath/rest kingship of the Lord God.

c) Worship has a distinctive focus on Jesus as Sabbath King

The setting apart of that seventh day was the setting apart of all seventh days in a six and one pattern reaching out to the end of time. A promise was given regarding the historical process and the goal God intended for it. But due to the disobedience of the first Adam, sin entered into the world and death by sin. Therefore, it is through Jesus Christ, the second Adam (1 Cor. 15:45, "the last Adam became a life-giving spirit"), that God will keep His promise that His image bearers, male and female, reach life and Sabbath rest at the end of history (so focus is on Jesus).

Conclusion

1) First, we learn that it is within this broad historical-redemptive context or framework that we must understand marriage. The most fundamental elements of a godly and loving marriage are found in the original statements of man’s creation and place in history. From before the fall, from the hand of the Creator, and from the very beginning of human existence on earth we learn the most essential rudiments of a loving marriage. It will be profitable for us all if we return often to the opening chapters of Genesis for the basics of marriage. Granted, we are directed here to interact with science and that debate has often obscured some of the other concerns of these chapters. One concern that should not be missed is the extremely important and vitally relevant sketch of marital duties (go there to see how the basics are deeply grounded).

2) We learn that a loving marriage must be oriented to the path of these duties. But the word love nowhere appears in the early chapters of Genesis. Still, love is obviously present and demanded of us per this account. How so? One interesting way we get it is from the nature of work per Genesis one. We are to image God in our work. We are to work because He worked and in the manner that He worked: creatively in six days. But what marvelous point is driven home to us about God’s work when we follow the account from the first day to the sixth day? At first we have a bland earth dwelling in darkness. Man is not created until the sixth day. This is significant regarding the process because there is a transformation from an inhabitable to a habitable earth. With majesty about them each day marches toward the sixth. Each day serves the goal of making a pleasing, beautiful, rich, full, and amazing place for man to live. God works in service to man. He serves others. He creatively labors to our benefit and good right down to the good of companionship between male and female in the bond of marriage. Simply put, the works God performed on the six days were acts of love (work is serving others). Like Him as His image bearers man and woman are to work for the other in daily acts of love. They are to work in daily acts of love to God as the Other and in daily acts of love to each other (an others orientation is essential, to the Other and to each other).

Therefore, we are talking about love and a loving marriage when we emphasize the basic duties. Love is active; it involves work with a sense of royal dignity. This is the picture of love that we get from Genesis in the history of redemption: a loving marriage will exercise dominion, have children, follow the six and one pattern, and worship Jesus Christ on the Sabbath. To say the least, that is a remarkable sketch of love and marriage.

3) Third, we learn that due to the fall we have to lay hold of these principles by reference to the second Adam. We see indications of love and its demand on us in the love of Christ as Sabbath king. It is an awesome thought to think that God will certainly keep His covenant to bring man to eternal rest at the end of history. This awesome thought is catapulted to the highest heights when we realize that because of the fall that goal can only be reached by means of the redeemer provided by the Lord Himself. We must worship in love and awe when we see Jesus as the second Adam who bore our sins in His death and who was raised for our justification (Rom. 4:25).

Therefore, referring to Jesus as Sabbath king says that He is the Lord of love as the redeemer of God’s elect. It is love that explains the death and resurrection of Christ for undeserving sinners such as we are. So we love Him and one another because He first loved us. Thus we worship Him daily and honor Him in a special way in worship on His Sunday-Sabbath. "Jesus I am resting in the joy of what thou art."

Here in this summary of the gospel we have the first principle of a loving marriage. The first principle of a loving marriage is to love Jesus Christ as your Sabbath king. This means that you love Him because He is Lord of love and you want to emulate His love.