Introduction

Turn to Colossians 4. We come today to the last verse (v.6) on the heavenly life developed in 3:1-4:6. Heavenly mindedness has a very earthly ring to it biblically: it governs all relationships, with God and with others. In effect Paul says, "Don't even begin to say you love God when you fail to love other people. How can you love God who is unseen if you do not love those other persons that cross your path that are seen?" This aspect of the heavenly life is applied in the particular circumstance of giving answers. Therefore, I have titled this message "Speaking Apologetically."

1A. Apologetic speech is a Christian duty

Some translations have speech and others have conversation as the subject of verse 6. Literally, Paul says, "your word always with grace." The imperative is implicit, hence the addition of "let" and "be": "Let your word always be with grace."

Answer giving is something that Paul says "you" are to know how to do. It arises from your word or speech in general that points back to the open door for Paul's word. The apostolic word is to shape our word.

Emphasis in 4:5 is definitely on action that is wise toward outsiders: Redeeming the time pertains to our conduct, how we walk around, in relation to those outside the faith. Paul places the utmost priority on how we manifest godly behavior.

Every time you cross the paths of unbelievers, you are to be conscious of a specific responsibility you have to them and you should look for an opportunity to make gain for the gospel by treating them in a godly manner. Note the key here is to treat them in a manner that reflects holiness and righteousness of the truth.

Thus this is unquestionably the context for apologetic speech. It is a specific way that we are to do "good" unto all men, as we have opportunity (Gal. 6:10).

Having gracious speech is our duty in all relationships and it is a duty that we have in a special way in relation to outsiders. Paul gives parallel ideas that go with wise living (live wisely…especially in relation to the unbeliever; speak graciously…especially in relation to the unbeliever).

2A. Apologetic speech is a challenging duty

Some things show that this duty is quite a challenge.

1) It is a challenge because of the darkened mindset of the non-believer. In their alienation from God they are "enemies in the mind" that is driven by evil conduct (Col. 1:21). Unbelievers (as we once were) have an axe to grind against the truth of the gospel. There is a dynamic of fear and hatred that controls their attitude toward the truth: they hated the light fearing its exposure of their deeds (Jn. 3:19-21).

The unbelievers' thinking is futile, darkened, hardened, and insensitive (Eph. 4:17-20). There is therefore a clash of mindsets that is radical between the Christian and the non-Christian.

This is the root from which grows the pig and dog like responses to the pearls of the gospel. Sometimes they may trample on you or snarl at you. We need wisdom to discern the opportunity, to see the open door and walk through it. We do not knock down the doors of those who trample on the precious things of God.

2) The challenge is intensified by the abiding nature of this duty. Our speech is to always be with grace so we know how to answer everyone. This is a high and holy command. It sounds somewhat idealistic and unrealistic at first reading if we isolate it from its context. It is realistic because it is part of an entire way of life, a style of living, and discipline of action and speech that arises from a mind set on things above (3:2). This mind set is rooted itself in the accomplished work of Christ (3:1, you have been raised; 3:12, you are elect, set apart, and loved). What we have here is a summons to be what we already are in union with Christ.

3A. Apologetic speech is a practical duty

It is fulfilled by speech that is with grace and salt seasoned. This is a text that should cause us to become self-conscious in the right way about out speech. It is not to make us overly shy or introverted. But it is to cause us to have awareness and develop skill in wise speaking with unbelievers. All sermons have an edge that cuts in the direction of the preacher and this one is no exception. Perhaps, I need this more than you. Consider three things about practical apologetic speaking.

1) With grace means that it is skillful. It is like being a graceful dancer or a graceful figure skater. When a great catch is made by a tight end, it may be said that he ran, leaped into the air, and caught the ball with great grace.

Having this duty as a Christian to speak apologetically with outsiders and knowing that it is a difficult challenge, summons us to develop very pointed and down to earth skills in godly speech. It is to be with grace, classy, dignified and noble.

2) With grace means that it reflects the graces. Again, it is the speech part of the whole life in pursuit of godly wisdom and righteousness.

Thus, we can go back to the graces discussed in this section of Colossians and ask about the kind of speech that goes with the vices in contrast to the virtues. Consider Colossians 3:12 for example. What would the difference be between speech that flows from impatience versus impatience? Or between speech that is harsh versus gentle? Or between speech that goes with pride versus humility? Or between speech that lacks compassion versus speech that is clothed with compassion?

On the impatient/patient question, are we not led to the book of James (1:19-26)? Consider the emphasis in the call to be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger (vs. 19-20) in a context that defines worthwhile versus worthless religion (v. 26).

3) With grace means that we minister grace to the hearers. All of our earlier questions are probably answered in Ephesians 4-5. A familiar text is concerned with putting off unwholesome talk and replacing it with helpful speech that benefits those who listen (4:29). But note the context on walking in the Spirit and how much of it deals with speech (4:30-32). Our words are not to be empty, obscene, and foolish (5:3-7). Being filled with the Spirit we are to speak a certain way and sing a certain way (5:15-20). Again the context of our relation to those in darkness surfaces (5:8) and we are to avail ourselves of every opportunity but of course living as children of light (5:8-9) and armed with light (Rom. 13:12).

Salt seasoned (Col. 4:6) on the positive side tells us to work at having speech that is tasty to others. An example is the way we handle small talk. As a speaker on "small talk" pointed out, it is really not small at all. One thing stressed in this talk on small talk was that small talk is a way to put people at ease, to make them feel comfortable and welcome. If that is true then small talk is a place to cultivate gracious speech. Take an interest in people, focus on names, and ask questions. Don't ask yes or no questions but open-ended questions that bring out how people feel about things. And take time to be a good listener. This is more of a challenge and more work perhaps for those of us that are introverted and shy.

Again, be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to impulsive, angry and insensitive conduct. Be sensitive, caring, interested in conversation in order to honor the Lord and love your neighbor.

Our speech will be tasty for the unbeliever when it is salt seasoned no matter what they do and say. In other words, our speech is tasty for the unbeliever when it is kind, clear, truthful, and helpful and up building. We must avoid the tasteless and distasteful speech that is slanderous, abusive, obscene, clamorous, and false.

It is tasty for them when our speech draws from the fountain of good news and truth that is in Jesus. It is tasty when we season our speech with the biblical framework of truth. Tell them: how we are created to be God's image bearers on the earth but we have fallen, and stand under God's wrath and hatred. This is why there is sickness and death. This is why there is a Day of Judgment awaiting sinners who fall into the hands of an angry God. But there is hope: Jesus came into the world to save sinners. Do you recognize that you are a sinner? Do you desire God's forgiveness? Then cast yourself at the feet of the Risen Lord Jesus and He will give you a declaration of not guilty and a badge of entry into heaven when you die.

This brings us back to Proverbs and to wisdom in life and speech versus foolishness. It is a wisdom in which we become a fountain of life and bring healing (Prov. 16:16-24). For this wisdom we should be ever digging as we mine God's word. In a special way, the words of Christ make up the foundation of wisdom versus folly (Matt. 7:24-27).

4A. Apologetic speech is a personal duty

That is, it is concerned with (we speak to) persons as individuals. As Calvin put it, "it is one of the chief departments of true prudence, to know how to discriminate as to individuals, in speaking one and to another, as there may be occasion" (Commentary on Colossians, 4:6).

Each of us are called to individualize the gospel message to those around us. For this we need good intuition and wisdom. Our message, our speech, and our words need to be adjusted and suited to the person and his or her needs. This pertains to both our general demeanor that we reflect in our speech on all occasions in relation to whomsoever. It also pertains to how we speak of the gospel. It will and ought to be different and varied. This is just part of loving the neighbor as ourselves and thinking of what they need and approaching it as best we can given the varied ways that they think, live, and speak.

Conclusion

What then is our hope of success in relation to unbelievers? We have every reason to hope for success even in the face of futile and darkened hearts and minds, even in the face of the dead to whom we go. How can this be so? Because God has a saving purpose that He will accomplish in His time through the spread of His word. It will accomplish the purpose whereunto He sends it (Isa. 55:10-11).

In other words, with gracious speech, we go to the dead with a general call of the gospel. We give them the overture of grace. We go with our hope always fixed on two things: 1) we cannot raise the dead to whom we go. 2) We are utterly dependent on God. We go looking, hoping, and trusting in the Lord for the miracle of conversion. We give out the general call and we wait upon the Lord of creation to extend His effectual call to the heart. When God converts the sinner, He will leave the fish nets of his life to be first and foremost a follower of Jesus Christ the risen Lord of glory and he will attach himself to the people of God.

We go in prayer for the open door of the word of God on our lips. We pray for the opening of the heart like the Lord did for Lydia in the book of Acts. He opened her heart to receive the gospel (Acts 16:14).

When the gospel is not accepted we are disappointed for we long for good to come to our children, family members, friends, and neighbors. "O Lord, we await your blessing. You are the Lord of the covenant. You, O Lord, are the God of the ages. You are the Almighty; no one can stay your hand; your arm is not shortened that it cannot save. This is the Lord's doing and it is marvelous in our eyes. The Lord must build the temple; He will build His church. O Lord, grant your blessing upon us for your honor and glory."