Introduction

One of the difficulties often raised regarding the doctrine of divine election is: "Do you mean to tell me that my friend, so and so (named specifically as a human being that I care about) will not be saved unless he is chosen by God according to His good pleasure in the freedom of His grace?" The answer of course is a definite yes because every member of the human family is fallen and is neither able nor willing to return unto God in faith and submission to His absolute authority (cf. total depravity). To be sure, not one particular person that we know will ever be saved without the regenerating grace of the Holy Spirit, the gift of Christ’s electing love. If anyone is left to himself without the electing grace of God, then left to his own desires, will, and devices he will never come to the light. He will always flee from God fearing His wrath. He knows God as it were over the shoulder looking back at his Father’s home while he wastes the Father’s goods in the far country. But he does not submit himself to the law of God nor indeed is he able to do so (Rom. 8:7).

While in college, I wrestled with the biblical teaching of God’s unconditional election and began to see how it cut into the fabric of the human family. So the question that I asked of one of the few people at the time that I knew held to this teaching was, "Do you mean to tell me that my Dad who is not a Christian will never become a Christian unless He is chosen by God based on nothing in him as a sinner but totally based on God’s own will and grace?" When this godly Christian teacher replied, "Yes, that is what the Bible teaches," I heard nothing else he said but left his office longing to know God better but not knowing what to do with this doctrine (I remember that conversation, going to his office, and leaving his office with a heavy heart like it was yesterday; I can still see his lips moving across the desk while my ears are not hearing).

It was difficult to hear my teacher and that Q & A weighed on me heavily. I fought with the doctrine in my heart and I can remember the very moment when I could fight with this doctrine no longer. I was having regular early morning devotions in an empty room in my dormitory at college. I started reading through the first letter of Paul to the Corinthians. As I read through the first chapter I missed the impact of calling and the giving of grace mentioned early on (vs. 1, 2, 4, 9, 24) but when I reached the end of the chapter (vs. 26-31) I said to myself and to the Lord in prayer, "I can’t believe this doctrine is taught here in Your word."

ESV 1 Corinthians 1:26 For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. ²⁷ But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; ²⁸ God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, ²⁹ so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. ³⁰ He is the source of your life in Christ Jesus, whom God made our wisdom and our righteousness and sanctification and redemption. ³¹ Therefore, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."

That ended the battle in my heart to believe in God’s unconditional and gracious election. From that point on to the present, the challenge has been to integrate this doctrine into my worldview, which has had to undergo expansion and change in submission to the whole counsel of God (I kept trying to hold onto one petal of a tulip with all its implications while denying the existence of the rest of the flower; it was an experience akin to believing in the possibility of one hand clapping; I did this with one petal then two and so forth).

There are many ways in which this difficulty reaches to the depths of the heart as a challenge to believe what God has said, nothing less and nothing more, and to submit to Him as the gracious Lord of heaven and earth. We can be like mules and fight with what God tells us:

ESV Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. ⁹ Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you.

This same question that has been asked over and over again has to be asked in another gripping way: "Do you mean to tell me that my children will not become Christians unless they are chosen by God based on nothing in them as sinners but totally based on God’s own will and grace?" We have to say, "Yes" again and an affirmative answer to this question leads to the message for today: "Election, Covenant, and Our Children."

Understandably, there is much emotion tied to this topic. It may be difficult at times to keep our equilibrium (infant Baptists have tended toward assumed election or presumed regeneration of covenant children and Baptists have tended toward easy believism or decisional regeneration, both driven much by parental emotions and that is to be expected).

What I want to do is discuss election as a doctrine of grace for which God is to be blessed and honored as the one who has blessed us with all blessings in the heavenly places in Christ (Eph. 1:-3-4). I want to discuss it as gospel, as good news, to fallen sinners in the fallen human family. I want to do this in application to our families, especially our children. To do this we will cover three major points that have some overlap: election in family terms, election in covenant terms, and election in practical terms.

1A. Election in family terms

Probably one of the most striking passages in Scripture that reveals the doctrine of election to salvation in family terms is Romans 9:10-13:

ESV Romans 9:10 And not only so, but also when Rebecca had conceived children by one man, our forefather Isaac, ¹¹ though they were not yet born and had done nothing either good or bad- in order that God's purpose of election might continue, not because of works but because of his call- ¹² she was told, "The older will serve the younger." ¹³ As it is written, "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated."

Clearly, the mother of these twins was told that God had chosen the younger and not the older twin to be the heir of the promises to Abraham. This meant that Jacob not Esau would be a child of promise that included him in the lineage to Christ and in personal salvation.

A number of things show that personal salvation and not just something corporate or external is at work here. 1) First is the implication of Paul’s "could wish." He could wish to be accursed himself for his human family. This indicates that they are "accursed and cut off from Christ" (9:1-4, underneath it all is a wrong relation to Christ on a personal level). 2) Paul’s great desire for his kinsmen is "that they may be saved" (10:1) not by their own righteousness (10:3) but by believing with the heart and confessing with the mouth that Jesus is the risen Lord (10:13). 3) The corporate elements of Israel after the flesh in relation to the Gentiles (as especially evident in Rom. 11:11-28) do not remove the fact of individual election to salvation from the curse of eternal destruction (cf. Rom. 2:5 on the storing up of wrath against the day of wrath). Instead, there is a remnant, a portion, of Abraham’s sinful family that is preserved by God for Himself. This is exemplified in the time of Elijah (Rom. 11:4, "I have kept for myself…") and applies in the present time of the NT church (Rom. 11:5, "So too at the present time there is a remnant, chosen by grace"). Paul is speaking again about Abraham’s family, his kinsmen according to the flesh, with concern for their spiritual well being (cf. rejected, 11:1, due to their persistent disobedience, 10:21). This is a salvation remnant; it is a group of individuals who are saved (not just a group that is outwardly blessed).

How much of this was understood by the mother of Jacob and Esau is unclear. We know that it was told to her that the elder shall serve the younger and what she did later in life was try to bring this to fruition in the wrong way by the famous deception of her husband Isaac. The result of this deception was that she had to send her beloved son away to probably never see him again the rest of her life (she sent him a way for "a few days" that became twenty years and the narrative is silent regarding any reunion, Gen. 28:44-45).

However much Rebecca understood, the doctrine is clear and definite for the people of God. This word was given to the mother before the children were born, before they had actually committed a moral act of any kind in history, for a profound purpose: that God’s purpose of election might stand, not because of works but because of his call (Rom. 9:11). That is why she was told that the older will serve the younger (9:12) so that election may stand out to be seen for what it is.

Election is unto salvation by God’s pure grace and good pleasure. No one deserves salvation. Parents do not deserve it; our children do not deserve it. Election cuts across the human family according to the wise, good, and sovereign purposes of our heavenly Father. It also cuts across the covenant family because Isaac and Rebecca are covenant parents. To that aspect we now turn.

2A. Election in covenant terms

To speak of covenant parents and the covenant family brings a covenant perspective into view that is distinct from the eternal covenant of redemption. The eternal covenant refers to the fact that Jesus has children given to Him by the Father before the foundation of the world; these are the people in the human family to whom He infallibly purposes to give eternal life (Jn. 17:1-2; Heb. 2:13). Covenant parents and covenant family are designations that speak to the fact that God works out His eternal/covenant purposes through specific covenants and promises that He reveals to His people in stages throughout history. Perhaps it is sufficient for the moment to label these as the eternal covenant and the historical covenants. How they relate to each other is a study all its own (cf. discussions between covenant theologians and dispensational theologians as well as discussions and differences within the ranks of covenant theologians themselves). The historical covenants begin with the covenantal six and one of creation week (Gen. 1:1-2:3). They take on a redemptive significance after the fall in the promise of the coming of the descendent of Eve that will bring restoration from all the effects of the fall (Gen. 3:15). The apex historical covenant in the OT is the covenant with Abraham that promised Christ and the blessing of the nations through Him (Gen. 12:3; 17:7; Gal. 3:8, 16). When Christ appeared he brought the promises to fulfillment by securing the blessings of the new covenant in His blood (1 Cor. 11:25). The eternal covenant and the historical covenants of the OT converge in His work on the cross for the new covenant in His blood is "the blood of the eternal covenant" (Heb. 13:20) by which He secured "eternal redemption" (Heb. 9:12).

Therefore, we can speak of the covenant family with various nuances that begins with Adam and Eve, and the Patriarchs (especially Abraham) and continues into the NT. It is in the context of the historical covenants by which God is working out His eternal covenant that we are to understand the few but important NT passages regarding the sanctification of household members. This is the context of the sanctification of children and unbelieving spouses (1 Cor. 7:14; 1 Pet. 3:1-2).

Taken together these passages teach us that though election cuts across not only the human family but also across the covenant family (as in the case of the children of Isaac and Rebecca) God promises to work out His purposes through believing parents and spouses. Parents and spouses are to exemplify the gospel as its very embodiments within the family. This is the means by which He "wins" the unbelieving partner and "cleanses" our children.

But there is no formula here. The promise of salvation to a family into which the gospel has entered is not reducible to "give them the gospel and they will all be saved." Family witness and nurture is the means God uses to save family members just like gospel witness and proclamation is the means that God uses to save members of the human family. The duty of parents is to point their children to Christ by presenting them as infants and young children to Christ that He would intercede for them (Matt. 19:13-15; Mk. 10:13-16; Lk. 18:15-17). This is repeated when they are teenagers, young people, and adults out in the world on their own. Like Job, godly parents will rise early in the morning and intercede for all their adult children for Job said, "It may be that my children have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts" (Job 1:5). This was something that Job "did continually" (Job 1:6). It earmarked his righteousness.

Job knows what we all must know though it is hard to face emotionally. Sometimes our children may curse God in their hearts. This may or may not become evident to us in words on their mouths or conduct in their lives. We know that Jesus brought a sword with Him in His coming, a sword that family members may use against one another making the members of a man's household his enemies (Matt. 10:34-36).

As already noted, this is a truth that can be hard to face emotionally. With Paul, parents may be overwhelmed at times with desire that their nearest of kin be saved (Rom. 9:1-3; 10:1). Election not only cuts across the human family but also across the covenant family. We have now entered into discussion of election in practical terms.

3A. Election in practical terms

How do Christian parents apply the fact of election without knowing who the elect are or are not by name? Here are some principles that help apply this doctrine in practical terms (you may come up with other principles, even better ones, but these will get us started at least).

1) The first principle is submission. Submission to the Lord in worship and acknowledgment of His sovereignty is the first and probably the most important practical application of the doctrine of election as it cuts across the family. As we give the gospel to our nearest of kin we must do so in utter dependence on the Lord and in submission to His will. When his children were killed by a great wind that struck the house where they were feasting, Job "fell on the ground and worshipped" and said, "Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord" (Job 1:21). That is a profound example of submission; it is an example of profound submission. This is the bottom of all bottom lines.

2) The second principle is "take up the means." Take up the means that God has appointed and do so continually. Gospel witness to our children is a means that God uses in accomplishing His purposes. He calls sinners to Himself by the gospel (2 Thess. 2:14). But again there is nothing automatic here. God is free in the exercise of His saving grace; it is free and sovereign grace to the totally undeserving. We take up the means because this is the way God saves sinners. In living the gospel and giving the gospel to those we love we are demonstrating the fact that we believe that salvation is God’s to give and that He will save our children, our friends, our relatives, and all families of the earth in accord with His eternal purposes for His glory. We take up the means because He has appointed them; by taking them up we show that our commitment is to God. We trust the God who promises, we entrust ourselves to Him, and we entrust our loved ones into His hands for He gives and He withholds, He gives and He takes away. He is free and gracious in blessing us with all spiritual blessings in Christ (Eph. 1:3-4). He is our sovereign Lord and He clearly commands the use of means and promises to bless them. By faith we take up the means that He uses to grant His blessing on us and on our children.

3) The third principle is "pray." We must present our children to the Lord. Whatever the struggle may be for our faith, we must present our kin and all others into the hands of the triune God. In this connection you may remember the striking words of the man who said, "Lord I believe, help my unbelief." But do you recall the context of these words? It is a context in which this man came to Jesus with a request: "Lord, have mercy on my son" (Matt. 17:14). Specifically, he said, "If you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us" (Mk. 9:22). And Jesus replied, "If you can! All things are possible for one who believes" (Mk. 9:23). Then immediately this heart afflicted father cried out and said, "I believe, help my unbelief" (Mk. 9:24). And Jesus healed this man’s son.

What a marvelous example of prayer as a means that God may choose to bless. Parents are encouraged to present their children to the Lord. We do so petitioning that He be pleased to open their blind eyes to see His wonders in creation and to read of them with understanding on the pages of Holy Scripture. We hope and trust that the Lord will cause the lame to walk on the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. We wait upon the Lord as we work to the goal that our children’s mute condition be turned to speaking words that glorify God. We pray for the unblocking of ears to the sounds of the gospel preached each Lord’s Day. We look to the Lord Jesus Christ to these ends; we entrust ourselves to Him accordingly and in this way we present our little ones, our teenagers, and our adult children to Him. Thus, we present our children to the Lord with confidence that He will bless them and us according to how it serves His glory and the good of His elect.

Concluding Remarks to Broaden our Perspective

1) Worry for our children’s safety regarding their entire existence for time and eternity must be laid to rest in Christ. We do this by receiving His assurances of our safety as His children ourselves. There is an inescapably individual dimension to Christian faith; there is no proxy faith. We come into this world alone. We die alone. We bring nothing into the world and we take nothing out of it. From dust we are and to dust we return. We must rest our parental and spousal hearts on the bosom of Christ and find our comfort in Him and in the Scriptures (1 Pet. 3:5; Rom. 15:4, 13).

2) Fruitfulness is a matter of God’s sovereignty at it serves our good for His glory. There is a parallel between child raising and church nurture. In both we serve the Lord and wait patiently for the working of the Holy Spirit. It is the Lord’s doing when there is true repentance and faith. The servant of the Lord must not strive but be gentle with all if peradventure God may give them repentance to the acknowledgement of the truth (2 Tim. 2:23-24).

When children leave home they become like all other members of the church: they are outside of household discipline and must be treated as adults, loved, warned, counseled, whatever is possible, and ultimately left in God’s hands. If they belong to Christ then they will be under the loving discipline of God as He chooses to structure their lives and work out His will in them. So, it is to the Father in heaven that we commit them.

3) Thus, we cannot continually dwell on the problems that arise but must focus on solutions and do all we can with our children for their spiritual well being. We do all that we can as is possible to bring peace with God and true family unity in Christ. What they let us do we will do with love, forgiveness, and great patience (applying the Christian love of 1 Cor. 13). When and where they set limits, refuse to dialogue on the issues we feel are most important, rebuff the principles of open-minded humility, control the news, deceive us, and fail to take up the means of grace, we can only back off, trust God, and leave them in God’s hands.

4) The hope of parents as the hope of pastors is in God. Following the example of wives who have husbands that are disobedient, we must all find our hope in God. If our loved ones are the Lord’s by eternal covenant then no matter how hardened their hearts may be at a given time, they will flee to Christ, cling to Him for dear life, and find their place within the church because if they have God as their Father, they must have the church as their mother. Jesus will build His church and His lambs will hear His voice. Glory to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit both now and forever, Amen