Introduction

We continue today to reflect on the call to Christian unity that forms the last major section of the book of Romans (14:1-15:13). With all of the great theological topics treated in Romans, it would do well for us to remember the book in terms of the importance placed on unity among Christians, a unity of mind-set, attitude and loving relationship.

In this context, the angle of approach before us today is given by the last phrase of verse 1, "and not to please ourselves." My title for this morning is "Seeking to Please Others." And I will develop it from the text by discussing the duty of seeking to please others, the motivation in seeking to please others, the resource (source of strength) in seeking to please others, and finally the goal of seeking to please others.

1A. The Duty of seeking to please others

As we focus for today, recall that the weak were viewed as weak in faith in specific matters of Jewish law (14:1, 2, 5, and 21). It was a weakness that manifested itself in a rigorous condemning legalism pitted against arrogance (14:3-4, the strong look down their noses with contempt while the weak condemn the Lord's servant). The stones in their shoes, the irritating scruples led to legalistic condemnation: those who did x, y or z should feel the same stones in their shoes that the weak feel but they do not (so "shame, shame on you that you don't").

1) Consider how the duty is placed before us

Now, in the opening of chapter 15, a nuance is given regarding the weak translated "failings" in the NIV (v.1). They are the un-strong in contrast to the strong. This is additional to the characterization of weakness: it is literally "the weaknesses of those without strength." Also, the translation "bear with" suggests the wrong idea of tolerate or simply "put up with" the weak (cf. Moo). The NASB has it best: the "strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength" (carry the weaknesses of the helpless). Hence this duty is placed before us in no uncertain terms.

2) Consider how the duty is oriented around weaknesses

This is interesting to be called to carry the weaknesses of the weak instead of carry the weak. In doubles tennis often one player will say to his partner: "you will have to carry me today I am not quite with it." The idea is that the strong one carries the weak person. If that is not done they will both lose in a big way.

That idea has to be here but it is given a nuance by saying, "carry the weaknesses" of the helpless or non-strong. The attention is on the weaknesses. They are not to be looked at with disdain from a distance; they are to be looked at as things to carry. What does that mean?

The weaknesses stand for the people who have them. It is personal with attention on the shortcomings. Every time you see a weakness (what you judge to be a weakness) what you do is pick it up and carry it and in doing so you are picking up and carrying the person without strength. Thus it means that when a weakness manifests itself in your perception, your response is to bear it up and in so doing your bear up the person in need.

But we can sharpen this a bit more. Consider the tennis example again. You could focus on your partner and be irritated that he failed to practice, didn't get enough sleep, or has an attitude. But if you focus on the weakness, say, his weakness at the net then carry him means you will do all you can to pick up the pace of your serve and volley. This will compensate for his weakness at the net (you will have to run more since his running is sluggish). I think this illustrates some of what Paul is telling us. When we see our brothers and sisters dropping the load then we will do what we can to increase our load. We will compensate for the specific weakness and in that way carry it. This we will do for others, to carry them. Thus we carry the weak by carrying their weakness and we do that by compensating for the specific weaknesses. Seeing weaknesses (perceiving whether correctly or not and we may misperceive), we should be attacking the lack instead of fighting the "lackee" our fellow-believer (attack the problem not the person).

3) Consider how the selfless direction of this duty is presented

Furthermore, it is important to note here that there is a selfless direction to this carrying of the weaknesses of the weak. You are not to please yourself (15b). Our actions are to be such that we look away from what brings us pleasure and happiness at the moment, in this situation, or under these protracted circumstances.

Thus, we are not looking to our own benefit in the matter. That is not the direction of thought here. The direction is away from ourselves and to others. We have a duty here of seeking to please others (15:2a, "each one of us should please his neighbor").

Paul broadens the scope of his concerns from the weak and strong by speaking of the neighbor (15:2). He becomes more general. The weak and strong conflict over Jewish laws is a core that represents the larger concern of each Christian with his neighbor. Neighbor does not take us outside of the church but it takes us outside of the particular conflicts cited. It takes us to the larger circle of "near ones" (neighbors). The weaknesses of chapter 14 become representative of any kind of weakness within the Christian family.

Note that this pertains to each one of us (v. 2, "each of us"). Obviously, this does not let us say that the duty to seek to please others only belongs to others, "to the other guy." We cannot elude the direct and clear fact that each of one of us has to say to himself, "This duty is my duty; I am addressed pointedly by Paul here."

Actually the notion of weakness is now suppressed. Attention is on the person, the other or others. In this duty, attention is not on ourselves (v. 1) but on others (v. 2).

4) Consider how the duty is fulfilled

It is by seeking to please others. Let's put this in perspective. Generally in reading his letters we find that Paul is does not seek to please men and he does not encourage Christians to go around simply trying to please others. He says, "we are not trying to please men but God" (1 Thess. 2:4; "Am I trying to please men?" No! Gal. 1:10). Yet here he commends pleasing the neighbor.

In this statement (15:2a) Paul, commands that we seek to please others. He commands by stating what ought to be the case. There is an obvious distinction to be made. On one hand, we are not to try to please others in the sense of "tickling their ears" for some ulterior goal that is wrongly motivated. In 1 Thessalonians 2, Paul opposes flattery, trickery, and mask wearing that covers up the fact that we seek to please others for our own gain, in actual dollars or in any other way such as for our own praise (2:3-6). This wrong sense of pleasing others is really covered by Paul here in Romans 15:1, it is not to please ourselves. We might seek to please others really only or primarily to please ourselves. But that wrong direction and motive is negated.

On the other hand, we are to seek to please men, the Christian family of brothers and sisters in the Lord. We are to look out for their good to build them up (15:2). This is what Paul is stressing. In other words, we should have a goal or an aim in mind in our relationships with one another. That goal should be to put our own happiness and pleasure second to the happiness and pleasure of others first in the course of our ongoing relationships. Thus we should aim at an unselfishness in which we seek the happiness of others, their good, and their up building. This has to bring before us the radical importance of helping one another in our learning and living of God's word.

If this is our goal then our conduct will be governed by that goal. We will always think about how we can please others. We are good at seeking our own pleasures in life. So that is not an issue. The issue is to promote the pleasures of life in others. It is to promote the good of others, to promote the edification of others.

I have spent some time of this because it needs clarification and because it may be difficult to do and because it is radically important for a healthy Christian life.

2A. The Motivation for seeking to please others

Motivation to true unselfishness as a way of life is given to us in the example of Christ (15:3). Two things are stated in His example. 1) He did not please Himself. He did not make His own happiness the "end all" and "be all" of life. He did things that led to the opposite of pleasure. He did things for others that were not pleasing to Himself. 2) How He did this is explained from Psalm 69:9 in which the words of king David are put into the mouth of our King, the true and ultimate King of Israel, Jesus Christ our Lord. Thus we have a complex of situations. The insults that were directed at God in the time of David fell on David. This typifies the fact that the insults that were directed at God in the time of Christ fell on Christ. That happened because Christ did not come to please Himself.

Now how does this relate to the Romans and to us in the church today? It implies a number of things that we can think through to get the big picture. 1) Insults were being traded back and forth by believers at Rome in some form or another (implied here by Paul). When character is weak the mouth is strong. 2) These insults are actually directed at God. God is insulted when Christians insult one another (an important fact all its own). 3) Christ endured insults with the goal in mind of not pleasing Himself. 4) Therefore, He endured the insults in order to please us, even us who insult Him in this way and in other ways. Who of us has not insulted the Lord Jesus? 5) So the bottom line is that Christ is our example to follow in this precise way. We are to endure the insults of others that fall on us with the mindset and goal of not pleasing ourselves but with the determined goal to please others even the very ones who insult us, to do them good and to seek their happiness and edification.

Obviously, the insults and hurts that other Christians bring us are not an excuse to hurl insults and hurts back at them. Just the opposite is the case in the kingdom of Christ our Savior. His example is our great motivation to deal with weaknesses with "one anothering" love in the body of Christ. He is our motivation to get out of ourselves and seek to please others (first in the family of God and beyond to all).

3A. The resource for seeking to please others

What is our source of strength for this high unselfish and others oriented ethic? It is the Scriptures.

Paul works from the specific OT text cited in verse 3 to the broad principle that the Scriptures give us endurance and encouragement (v. 4). We definitely need this. Things are incomplete. There is conflict. We often have to bear the brunt of this state of affairs. We may contribute to the problem at times and in that case others have to bear the brunt of our weaknesses in grace. The going can get rough. We all have rough edges that goad others.

We are called to handle weaknesses that afflict us in one way or another with the determination to not seek our own happiness and pleasure but to seek the happiness and pleasure of our fellow family members gladly compensating for their weaknesses because of the example of Christ. This is a call to the "no not me, you go first, no not me you have it your way" that each of us say in effect to one another. The Christian version of the song, "I did it my way" is changed to "we did it your way" or "let's do things your way."

How can we have this unselfish spirit in which we can put our own ways, wants, and happiness second to the well being and happiness of those who afflict us? How can we seek the good and the up building of those who cause us grief and pain? Where can we find the strength to endure this? We find that strength in the Scriptures. God's word is the light for this tunnel all the way through it.

And in making our way through this tunnel, we need another thing to deal effectively with the weight of difficulties that we face on our journey. We need hope. We need to be able to look from the present moment to the future with hope instead of despair. And that is exactly what the Scriptures give us. The endurance and encouragement of the Scriptures are geared to give us hope. We are to live with a sense of expectation regarding the future both immediately out in front of us and at the end of history as a whole. The Scriptures enable us to live in the present by reference to the future. They enable us to experience the future ahead of time because they help us see that the eternal day has already dawned; we are already in the final day we just haven't yet reached the radiance of high noon!

In our daily labors, we are directed to the eternal Sabbath rest. In our suffering we are directed to the glorious liberty of the children of God to which the sufferings of the present are not even worthy to be compared. And in the conflicts generated by our weaknesses as the people of God we are directed to the sure purpose of Christ who will build His church having endured insult beyond measure on the cross (having endured our insults against Him!).

We can press on toward this goal of pleasing others, bringing them good, and advancing their edification with great expectation that the sure purposes of God will bring our feeble efforts to fruitfulness, to the fruits of righteousness that are by Christ Jesus and unto the glory of God. In a way this is saying that our labor is not in vain in the Lord. It is saying that enduring the conflicts and weaknesses is part of the gospel story and part and parcel of our calling in Christ. The fruit will certainly come in its own way and time; it will come in God's own way and in His good time.

4A. The goal of seeking to please others

An ultimate goal is stated here in Paul's prayer (vs. 5-6) and revealed in the overlap to the next paragraph (v. 7). The unity that comes from God (v. 5) through Scripture (v. 4) on the pathway of following Christ Jesus (v. 5) has the glorification of God as its primary goal (v. 6).

God is to be glorified "with one heart and mouth." This does not mean that Christians will become perfectly united in all doctrine and practice and in that way glorify God. It means that God's praise should arise from us all in a united commitment of heart and expression of lip.

How we handle our differences is critical and important to genuine heartfelt praise to God. This has to be the point of verse 7, "accept one another…in order to bring praise to God." How we deal with one another in these matters of relationships and weaknesses and insults and afflictions is critical to how our life glorifies God.

Conclusion

A key here to heartfelt praise, to a clear heart and mind in this regard, is to have the mindset and determined goal of not pleasing myself but others, especially those who insult me. Then the outward praise will have a depth that pleases the Lord!

Now we have reached the ultimate point. In seeking to please others we are seeking to please the Other, our Lord Jesus Christ.